5 Types Of People You Will Meet At Freshers Parties.

31 Aug 2016

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Freshers, Party,

#1 – The ‘Seen it all’ Dude

 

Chibi Fresher Student

Art by Anna Wolfie

This is the person who may have been on more than one “gap year”. They are likely to be well over 21, and will have stories so rock n’ roll that they can make even the most debaucherous uni party seem like a sunny Sunday family picnic in the park. In fact, they’ve probably partied harder than you’ve ever done in your life so far, and they’re now at university to actually study, as their livers are a bit tired after years of overuse and the prospect of spending weekends raving and not sleeping has lost its sparkle. They may even have a family to take care of now.

Don’t Be Surprised If …

You turn out to look exactly like them in about 10-15 years time, still trying to figure out what you’re doing with your life.

 
 

#2 – Captain Average and Miss or Mrs. Sensible

 

University students

Art by Anna Wolfie

These people can be identified by their standard uniform: clothes in not-too-loud shades of green, grey, black, blue and white (camouflage a Predator would be proud of). They’ll have standard, slightly sporty, non-descript trainers on as well. Captain Average will attend a fresher’s party and a couple of pub crawls, but will not rock the boat in any major way. All courses will be signed up for in time, and they’ll end up with a solid 2:1 in whatever they’re studying.

As for Miss/Mrs. Sensible, it’s a surprise that she’s even going out at fresher’s week. In fact, this is likely to be one of the few times you’ll see her in the wild, preferring instead takeaway-and-movie nights at home with her close friends and course mates, studded with a couple of nights out at Wetherspoons and a club once every month or so. Slightly introverted and somewhat quiet, but often very nice people to hang out with.

 Don’t Be Surprised If …

They can drink you under the table. Prone to going wild for a week once every year when school’s out.
 
 
 
 

#3 –  The Party-Going Wastoid

 

TPGW

Art by Anna Wolfie

Related to “Seen It All Dude”, albeit a much younger version of one, and yet to have their life experience. The Wastoid will be at every pub crawl, nightclub and party they can possibly attend, and will spend most of if not all their student loan money in Fresher’s Week. They usually end up subsisting on cheap noodles, bananas and porridge for the rest of the year. This is the type who will end up with a third, but have a tonne of awesome memories to look back on in future.

There is another type of Wastoid, however, who’s a bit smarter than your average partier. They will maximise their wasted-ness by being clever with their money during Fresher’s Week, and spend the rest of the year being at least slightly inebriated on a wonderful cornucopia of exotic intoxicants. This is the type that can spend all day studying and all night partying, crashing only when Sunday morning comes around. This person is likely to have a slightly higher-than-average IQ, and will be the go-to help for history, philosophy or literature essays. Should they be reading something science-y, engineering-, chemistry- and biology- based subjects are their main play areas. Likes brewing their own beer.

 Don’t Be Surprised If …

They clean up their act and become Captain Average or Miss/Mrs. Sensible by the time they’re 30.

 

#4 – The “What Am I Doing Here?” Guy/Girl

 

WAIDH

Art by Anna Wolfie

This is the person who is going to university just for the sake of going to university. They might’ve been pressured to go by their parents, or couldn’t think of anything better to do with their lives. They will have a steady stream of work throughout university (studying doesn’t seem to be their thing), and may well have a career sorted by the time they’ve finished. They usually end up with 2:2s or thirds, but a boatload of work experience that gives them an edge over their more studious fellows. The subject isn’t important for these types, but rather the degree itself.

 This is assuming, of course, that such people even end up finishing their degrees. Some decide to drop out by the second year of their studies, as they’ve figured out what they want to do with themselves sooner than everyone else. They sometimes spend their third-year student loans setting up shop or starting some crazy business venture.

Don’t Be Surprised If …

They end up interviewing you for a job several years down the line. 

 
 
 
 
 
 

#5 – The Genius

 

geeky girl

Art by Anna Wolfie

Most likely studying maths, physics or computer science, sometimes music or medicine. You may sometimes find them in other subject areas on occasion, and at times they overlap with the ‘partiers’, ‘whatters’ or ‘sensibles’. Geniuses, however, tend to be the type who are “out-of-this-world” clever. The sort of person you suspect of having telekinetic powers, and you’re just waiting for the day that some suited person turns up outside your seminar in a black van, kidnaps them and takes them to a top-secret government lab for “testing”.

 Don’t Be Surprised If …

They start earning more than you could ever dream of by the end of their second year of university, and/or burn out and travel the world for the rest of their lives.

 

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