A Modern Nativity

14 Dec 2016

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Tis the season to be jolly and throw the rules out the window! Anyone can put on a Christmas sweater and call it a day, but we know special moments are made when we get into the spirit, dress up and let our personalities really shine! At Escapade we aren’t really one to follow tradition, so when the time comes for some festive fun why not shake it up a little? We got thinking, who are the biggest stars of Christmas with the biggest personalities and how might they dress if they were contemporary stars?

First off, one of the most famous stars of the festive season is Father Christmas. Everyone  loves Santa and we think that he surely would have changed up his style by now! Also, all those years of climbing down chimneys and giving away presents (for free, nonetheless) would have undoubtedly left Santa’s Coca-Cola-inspired red-and-white suit at least a little dirty and tattered…

Santa is a huge brand, and we think he would have some corporate sponsorship by now. There’s no way Santa would be delivering goodies, eating your mince pies and drinking your milk (and brandy, although he really shouldn’t be drinking and sleighing) in dirty old clothes. Santa would most definitely slink his way into your home as blinging as possible. That means fat gold chains (Santa is notorious for his love of 80s hip-hop) and Louis Vuitton suits. Yes, he would probably keep it “classic Santa” with the red-and-white, but he would definitely want some tailoring done – he’s got a hard job delivering presents all round the world, after all, and he needs to have well-fitted, comfortable clothing. There is no doubt that the Louis Vuitton logo would be plastered all over his suit, too, although it will likely be subtle-yet-not-so-subtle at the same time.

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Louis Vuitton loves to make bags, too, so Santa’s sack would almost definitely be something special. In fact, it would probably be hand-stitched by Louis Vuitton’s current creative director himself, Nicolas Ghesquière. Nicolas (of the LV variety) definitely wouldn’t want Santa walking around with anything less than the best, and probably say that even the best seamster or seamstress on his team isn’t up to the task for such an illustrious job. Also, the two share the same name (Nicolas), so Ghesquière would want his own touch on Santa’s sack in there somewhere.

As for the beard? Santa would never have shaved it off. In fact, we’re not even sure if there’s any metal on Earth that’s capable of cutting through Santa’s luxurious magical beard. Plus, Mrs Santa Claus would be disappointed – she won’t countenance on having a beardless hubby. Maggie Thatcher herself wrote a letter to our dear old Saint Nicholas, asking him to shave it off in order to make him more “presentable”.

Incensed, Santa sent Maggie a lump of coal through the post on Boxing Day 26th December 1977. He did this purposefully, as he believed Maggie so naughty that “Christmas was too good for her”. This was doubly the case due to Maggie taking away the children’s milk, the surplus of which would keep him delivering presents through the night. Unfortunately, Maggie took out her frustration at Santa for this insult on the coal miners as a whole, and from here history was made. Ever since, Santa has vowed to never let metal meet his glorious facial hair.

Of course, as important as he is, Christmas is not all about Santa. There’s that other guy, too … What’s his name? Oh yes, Jesus! Hipsters have stolen his beardy look, and at least a good chunk of the world’s biggest selling book, The Bible, is all about him. Plus who doesn’t love a dude who can turn water into wine? He is literally The King, and we don’t think even the great Father Christmas would be able to outshine the light of this star. Hence the sharp shades, which would also act as protection from all the flashing of paparazzi cameras. Jesus would surely be influenced by the rock n’ roll king, Elvis, with his Aloha from Hawaii inspired shawl and jewel-encrusted toga. His snazzy silver chain and pendant hark back to the 60s and 70s – Jesus’ favourite time for fashion and music. Plus, his rise from the earth meant that several precious stones got stuck on him on the way up.

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As for other Xmas characters? Well, Jesus would need a herald Angel. But who would grace us from heaven and give us mere mortals the pleasure of their presence? Why, rock and soul stars, of course! We’re sure Camden would love to see Amy Winehouse make her way back to this most crazy of towns, all glitzed-up with her signature hair, lipstick and high-waisted belt.

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We’re also sure that Sharon Jones (vocals), Leon Russell (guitar, mandolin), Lemmy (Bass), Maurice White (drummer), David Bowie (vocals), Prince (vocals, guitar) and Lennon (Vocals) are starting a supergroup in heaven and planning to play one last gig here on earth. All you need to do to dress up as these heaven bound forefathers of music is the right hair, accessories and makeup, as well as a Wiseman costume.
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So, if you’re looking to dress up for Christmas or New Years, or have an Xmas do to go to (office or otherwise) and want to get your fancy dress on, then come down to the heart of Camden and get your Christmas costume as soon as possible.

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